are going to go to the Super Bowl on MY 21st BIRTHDAY!
lets  do this!





ps.
I'm ridiculously happy!

I hate what I did, but i had to do what was best for me.
I felt like an asshole :(

I miss him already.

THE GREATEST BOYFRIEND EVER :)





treats me so well!
we've waited over a year for this.
It was definitely worth the wait.

today is just FULL of weirdness!
like really, everywhere I look, everyone I talk to everything is just....weird.
people are acting weird, doing weird things....not all bad.
just weird.



I really don't know how to feel about more then half the situations set in front of me right now.
I think its just best to step back and RUN the other way before I get caught up in the weirdness.

Arizona, you're not getting rid of my just yet.
NEW PLAN. THE PLAN.
1.Signing up for mesa community this week.
2. breaking my lease
3. moving in with angelica
4. getting rid of so many clothes and shit I DONT need.
5. transfering to ASU.
6. being happy.
7. I think it's all going to work.







AMBER I LOVE YOU!
Looks like you're going to be stuck with me for a bit longer then expected :)

is a state of being not a state of mind.
Im there.
How could I have not seen it all along.
IM DOPE AS FUCK!
hahahha
<3

I'm still intoxicated by the colors and feelings of last night.
holy fuck I felt amazing.
I still do.
wow.


amber! I LOVE YOU!
I want more.
holla at me<3

I'M IN LOVE!
ill explain more later, but I have class now.
ahh I can breathe today.





last night he saved my life.

everyone is exactly what I knew they were.



thank god I have my few close friends.
they are all i'll ever need.
Fuck the rest of this shit.
YOU SUCK!

im looking forward to this weekend more than anything...
1.ADD with emily<3
if they find a new drummer..eeek
2.disneyland with ryan<3
if he pulls though
3.santa barbra<3
with maddie,rainer,coco &lunaaa....no if ands or buts!
I <3 BRYCE FORD
4. NO SCHOOL MONDAY!!
YIPPIE
5. im turning 18 on wednesday!<3
finally legal
6. birtyhday dinner with the family and surpirse guest? so im told
wonder who it could be
7. new sterio system in my car<3



ps. i love mishka more than any other person right now<3
pss.IM GOING TO GRADUATE! thank god

theres smoething about the way he talks to me and the way he ALWAYS says hes sorry. no matter how many times our plans fall through its the times we do hang out that make it all worth it. i dont want to let my guard down but he makes it so hard to not care. i hope this time works out and i have the night of my life<3


saturday+ry+disneyland+movies+gettin toe up=<3<3<3<3

my friends are so beautiful<3 both in and out and i would do anything for these girls<3
HAYHAY-shes freaking crazy. first one down to party!
DEVO-this girsl tight as fuck and id gladly throw down in her favor
JEN-thats my BITCH! and only i can touch her chest haha
BRIT- the quite one.....HAHAHAHA...yeah right! she looks little but shell put you in your place
CATHERINE-i save her in my dreams. shes one of the stongest girls ive ever meet. she has a great head on her sholders and i love her more than anything
LISA-LP! my love! ive known this girl for 7 years and shes stuck through it all with me and ive been there for her through all her tough times and i wouldnt trade her in for the WORLD!
me...
MADDDDIE!-thats my SLUT....and thats all there is to say about her<3hehe
G-CRAZY LADY
CHELSEA-so cute and quite and yet shell be the first one to throw a punch
T-CRAZY TWIN #2
CARLEY- so sweet but if you talk shit...damn youll sure get hit!



all my ladies know whats up and how to stand up for eachother. you mess with one of us you mess with all of us. i know were all going to miss devo and eachother next year but well always remeber all the good times weve had

so basically after having an absolutly amazing break shit just keeps getting worse and worse...so it all starts on monday. the first day beck to school and im still in a pretty stoked mood from the night before when i had seen halifax with spencer and sabeeha. yaya it was rad! lol so im at school and im walking around at lunch eating a bag of cchips when my little brother aj say "omg emma when did you get you nose pierced..." i just laugh smile and walk past him. i hadnt told him i had gotten it the week before because as we all know in my family Aj can not keep a secret for his life. so i come home from a pretty alright day from school. and of corse i tuck up my septum piercing so my mom doesn see. the first thing my mom says to me is...
mom:"emma do you get your nose pierced"
me:"yeah"
mom:"why would you do that! me and you dad specifically told you that we thought it was disgusting and looked horrible! why would you go do that!"
me:"well i like it and i dont think its disgusting at all. its tucked up and yopu cant even see it. so i dont understand why your getting all upset"
mom:"me and your dad talked about it and we decided that you have 2 options.....1. you take it out and 2. you kep it in and you get a job and you pay for everything yourself"
me:"are you kidding me...you cant even see it. what the FUCk is the big deal!"
mom:"I DONT CARE! me and your dad hate it so those are your options"
me:" THIS IS FUCKING BULLSHIT. ITS MY BODY AND I CAN DO WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT TO DO. i dont car what people think about it and if they dont like it its their own fucking problem"
(walk into my room and slam the door)

then my mom later goes to pick up my brothers from school and i leave to go to the gym t let out a little anger. i go to the gym and at the time sent my little nark of a brother a text saying"fuck you aj...thanks alot of narking me out!" i go to the gym work out blah blah and then come bac kto the locker to look at my phone and see that i had a new text message and a new voicemail and a missed call from home. im thinking to myself OHSHIT!!so i read the text...it says "emma you better watch your language if you dont want to be in anymore trouble. you better get your ass home...and this sint AJ" so basicaly my brother shows my mom the text and she decided to respond. so then i listen to my voicemail and its my mom yelling at me to get my ass home. so i call her as im walking out of the gym surrounded by people i know from school. she starts to yell at me telling me that im a freak and why couldnt i have just been normal. we used to be close and now she can no longer trust me and if i was lying about my nose i must have lied about everything else in my life...basically making me feel like shit. im sitting in my car crying cuz my mom is baically telling me im worthless and a piece of shit. and then says to get home right now. so i sit there for a few more minutes to catch my breath. then i drive home. i get tere and she doesnt even say a wqord to me so i go into my room and start to do my homework and she walks in...she goes

mom:"im not going to yell anymore. im done yelling im just going to talk to you. i guess that im just going to have to deal with you piercings. theyre who you are and who you want to be and who i am i to tell you who you should be. the only thing is that me and your dad are not going to to be the ones to pay for your piercings and tattos. you can do whatever you want to your body but were not paying for it. so if you wan to get any tattoos and piercings your going to have to get a job and pay for them yourself."

at this point i was willing to do anything. so that sounds fine to me. she always informs me that our cleaning lady will no longer be cleaning my room and that i was going to have to do it on my own. along with cleaning my sheets. do my own laundry and keep my car clean at all times. so thats all whatever.i dont care..but then the next day when im at pedones with sabeeha my dad calls me and tells me that hes going to take away my sidekick becuse its "distracting" me in school and hes sick of paying for such an expensive bill. but then the next day my mom just went and changed the plans to make it cheaper so whatever.



BUT SHIT!!JUST WHEN I THINK TODAY WAS GOING TO BE ANY BETTER.....the guy who asked me to go to dinner with him tonight BAILED! again. the same guy always fucking bails. im done. if anyone wants to hang out with me and maked SET plans and bails....you better have a good fucking reasno because im done with stupid flaky people...GO AWAY!




this is really long and if you really read it...WOW
hopefully the rest of the weekend and the weekend are going to be SO much more fun!

wow i couldnt have asked for any better for a winter break. not only did i get to see ALL of my amazing friends and do many amazing things....it was all too perfect. seeing my great family who i love with all my heart and having AMAZING greek food and laughing over all the good times. then going to shows with friends! then going to mammother for 5 days and snowbaording my little heart out! i love kat and krista for you extremely long jacuzzi talks<3 and then coming home and going to a show with spencer and sabeeha....its was wonderful. a great way to end the break. ill go into more detail later



hope everyone elses break was as great as mine



PICTURES to come also:)

i was bored and wanted to reflect...


What is your full name: Emma Patterson Parkes
Spell your first name backwards:Amme
Date of birth: February 1, 1988
Male or female: Female
Astrological sign: Aquarius
Nicknames: Em, emmalee, em dawg, slutcake
Occupation:dont got one
Height: 5'7
Weight: shhhh
Hair color: brown
Eye color: brown
Where were you born: Burbank, CA
Where do you reside now: Palos Verdes
Age: 17
Pets: yorki named cabby and a maltese names bud. and like a million in a half birds but theyre my moms
Piercings: 7 in all. 2 in each ear(plugs). 2 on my lip(middle and left) belly button and my septum
Tattoos: i cant wait...when im 18!
Shoe size: 9
Righty or lefty: righty
Wearing: A&F jeans. BC slip ons. black wifebeater and an old volleyball sweatshirt
Hearing: Paramore-let this go
Feeling: groggy, but a little better than this morning
Eating/drinking: neither....going to call rainer to take me out to lunch
How many people have you said "I love you" to: ive only told 2 boys "i love you" but a million of my friends!
How many people have you been in REAL love with: one
How many people have you kissed: uhh like 7 i guess
Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex: kissed yse...made out no
How many people have you dated: 1
What do you look for in a guy/girl: someone who has great work ethic. a great personality. who loves the same music as me<3 and who loves me for me and doesnt call me fucking emo
Do you have a crush right now: i totally and completly have a crush on aguy right now who could totally be other half <3
Do you believe in love at first sight: has yet to happen but if it ever did...then yes
Who is the first person you kissed: haha Vincent Gibalisco...we both got suspended at school for it too<3
Do you believe in fate: yes...i believe everything happenes for a reason and that there is a person out there for everyone
Do you believe in soul mates: o0oYES!
How many siblings do you have: 2....twin brothers
What are your siblings names: Aj and Tracy
What are your parents names: Alexis and Randy
How many siblings does your mother have: 2
How many siblings does your father have: 3
Where are your parents from: My mom was born and rasied in Granada Hills(valley girl) and my dad grew up in Burbank
Is your family close: TOTALLY
Does your family get together for holidays: every holiday
Do you have a drunk uncle: hahahaha umm all of them?
Any medical problems run through your family: nope...my moms side of the family lives fraking forever. my parents are still at the kid tabel because everyone is still ALIVE in their upper 90's! im gonna live forever!
Does someone in your family wear a toupee: nope...we all got our hair
Are your parents divorced: nope...they still act like they just got married
Do you have step parents: nope
What's the most embarrassing cd you own: every spice girls CD
What's the best cd you own: wow hmm right now....underoath
What song do you absolutely hate: laffy taffy song!!
Do you sing in the shower: o0o yeah...i have my ipod playing everytime i get in
What song reminds you of that special someone: depends the person...whenever i hear ADD i think baout my crush<3

[[[[Okay, I Name An Artist And You Give A Lyric From Any One Of Their Songs]]]]
Pink: lets get this party started
Aerosmith: i dont wanna miss a thing
Madonna: and i am a material girl
Korn: something takes a part of me
Backstreet Boys:I WANT IT THAT WAY
The Beatles: we all live in a yellow submarine
Sublime: i smoke to joints in the morning
J.Lo: im still jenny from the block
Incubus: whatever tomorrow bringss
Limp Bizkit:behind blue eyes
Stacie Orrico: theres gotta be more to life
Creed: FUCK CREED!
Christina Aguilera: makes me stronger!
Eminem: its all just in your mind
Kelly Osbourne: come dig me out!
Mandy Moore:im missin you like candy
Eve:im do this here like aint been done before
Aaliyah: dust yourself off and try again
Nelly: smile for me daddy
Alicia Keys:uuhhh cant remember
FASHION:
Do you wear a watch?: nope...it bothers me so i always end up taking it off
How many coats and jackets do you own?: uhh like 5 but i only wear like 2
Favorite pants/skirt color?: ahh my A&F ripped up jeans and my teeny tinny A&F skirt
Most expensive item of clothing?: $200 Frankie B jeans
What kind of shoes do you wear?:VANS, BC slip ons
YOUR FRIENDS:
What do they tend to be like?: all really different! i love how many differnt friends i have and i love them all!
Are there traits in you that are universally liked?: hahai hope so
How many people do you tell everything to?: hmm rainer.
MUSIC, TV, FILM & BOOKS:
Favorite band ever?: underoath. blink 182
Most listened to bands: OMG not enough room on the entire page
Do you find any musicians good-looking?: hahaha ummm travis barker is the hottest man alive!
Can you play an instrument?:nopee
Type of music never listened to?: yech: COUNTRY!!
GENERAL QUESTIONS:
Who is the smartest person alive at the moment?: ummm emily shes so little :0
What do you prefer, a sunny or rainy day?: hmm i love when its sunny but i love to wear sweatshirts and cuddle in my bed so i like when it rains too
Do you consider yourself lucky?: yeah sometimes
Do you feel pity for people who commit suicide?: yes and no
Choose one word to describe how you feel most often: ehh.
RANDOM:
Do you own any plaid clothing?: nope
Do you own converse shoes?: yeah like 5 differnt colors and styles
Do you own saucony shoes?: what is that?
Do you own old school nikes?:nope.
Do you wear tight pants?: sure
Is there more than one zipper in your pants?: haha no
Do you know what a squatter flap is?: no idea
Do you own a messenger bag?: haha yeah i love them!!
Do you wear your messenger bag across your chest?: sometimes...but usually just onver one sholder. depends on how long the strap is
Do you own braces?: umm no
Are braces worn anywhere besides the mouth?: not on me
Do you have short, shaggy hair?: short and shaggy i guess
Does your hairstyle exceed a height of 3 inches?: haha yeah
Would you classify your hair as a deadly weapon?: hahahano
Do you think mohawks are "neat"?: umm mohawks are fucking radd and way hot
Is your hair black or red?: kinda red in my hair
Do you have a favorite brand of hair dye?: nope
Do you own a bandana?: yess i love them!
Do you wear plugs in your ears?: yes 3/8
Are you amused by safety pins?: not my thing
Have you ever used duct tape as a sewing substitute?: yeah haha
Do you own one or more objects with studs or spikes in them?: no
Do you own one or more articles of clothing from dogpile, lip service, or tiger of London: no no
Do you enjoy leopard print?: haha i dont own any
Are you disgruntled?: nope
Are you an anarchist?: nope but i hate bush
Does the American flag anger you?: no
Are you "working class"?: nope
Do you dislike "preps"?: not one of them but i dont dislike them
Do you dislike Hot Topic?: haha yeah and yet i always seem to walk in there
Do you smoke cigarettes?: nopppee
Do you smoke cloves?: mmmm clovse :] haha only occasionally or when im drunk
Are you a thin waif?: merr??
Are you vegan/vegetarian?: no...i love meat
Do you think meat is murder?: no
Have you ever gone a week without a shower?: NO!
Have you ever been avoided due to your odor?: haha no
Do you know who Jack Kerouac is?: nope
Do you like Mr. Kerouac?: if i new him maybe
Are you a member of the makeout club?:haha no
Do you say "rad"?: haha yeah
FAVORITES:
Number: 11
Color: blue
Day: friday
Month: February....my bday and lotta 3 day weekends
Song at the moment: when the sun sleeps by underoath
Song of all time: o0o wow....hmmm thats a tough one
Food: greek or italian
Sport: volleyball<3
Class: hmmm none i dont like school
Teacher:hmmm ms. gebhart or ms horne
Drink: water
Veggie: umm spinach
TV station: disney :)
Radio station:i dont listen to the radio...but i guess KROQ
Store: URBAN OUTFITERS!
Expression: <3
Animal: tiger
Flower: dont really have one
State: CALI...and New York
Me or you: uhhh depends who you are
Coke or pepsi:PEPSI!
Day or night: night
AOL or AIM: aim
CD or cassette: CD
DVD or VHS: DVD
Jeans or khakis: jeans!
Car or truck: hmmm car for girls and trucks for guys
Tall or short: @ least taller than me
Lunch or dinner: lunch with a friend....dinner with a boy
*Nsync or BSB? : o0o god...n*sync
Gap or Old Navy:ehhhh dont like either...but i guess the gap
Lipstick or lipgloss: lip gloss
Silver or gold: silver
THE PRESENT:
What are you doing?: listening to music and waiting for frankie to call me so ican figure out what im going to wear tonight
Who are you talking to?:no one
Where are you?: in the kitchen where the computers are
Who are you with?: me and my brother are on the computers...dads in the other room and mom and other brother are watch tv
Are you online?: yeah on my skick
How are you feeling?: bored and ready to get out of my house
Are you in a chatroom?:lol no
FUTURE:
What day is it tomorrow?: JANUARY 1st 2006!
What are you going to do after this?: going to frankies house then lunch with rainer
Who are you going to talk to?:frankie
Where are you going to go?: franies house
How old will you be when you graduate?: high school - 18
What do you wanna be?: i want to work for a record company and promote bands
What is one of your dreams?: to always be apart of music
Where will you be in 25 years?: 42 years old
OTHER:
Do you write in cursive or print?: print
What is your sexual preference?: boys<3
Do you drive?: yep yep..silver rav4
Do you have glasses or braces?: i wear contacts so yes i have glasses

love love.

A look back at 2005... 40 questions about 2005.

1) Was 2005 a good year for you?
not so hot in the beginning but it seems to be ending well

2) What was your favorite moment of the year?
January 2005- had an amaing boyfriend. the greatest friends. Awesome volleyball team and i got my lip pierced

3) What was your least favorite moment of the year?
March 9th 2005

4) Where were you when 2005 began?
ummm being the DD for 2 boys while my boyfriend was in Utah. its was a bummer

5) Who were you with?
Casey and Adam @ some party

6) Where will you be when 2005 ends?
wherever my friends are at. And hopefully a nice boy to kiss at midnight

7) Who will you be with when 2005 ends?
FRIENDS! <3 ______-a-Paloooza?? maybe??

8) Did you keep your new years resolution of 2005?
never made one

9) Do you have a new years resolution for 2006?
havent decided

10) Did you fall in love in 2005?
WAS.... in the beginning

11) If yes, with who?
Tyler Larkin

12) If yes, do they know?
yeah we were going out

13) Are you still in love with them?
its a different kind of love now

14) You regret it?
not the falling in love part..

15) Did you breakup with anyone in 2005?
not so much ended it....but basically fucked it up

16) Did you make any new friends in 2005?
omg wow...too many people to list.

17) Who are your favorite new friends?
Dana.Andi.Vanessa. Sabeeha. Ryry. and way more!!

18) What was your favorite month of 2005?
December <3

19) Did you travel outside of the US in 2005?
nope not in 05

20) How many different states did you travel to in 2005?
wow umm... Arizona.New york. theres another buti cant think of it

21) Did you lose anybody close to you in 2005?
not so much lost. but yeah people who i was close to i am no longer friends with.

22) Did you miss anybody in the past year?
yes. vincent natale gibalisco

23) What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2005?
wow. too many. I LOVE MOVIES!

24) What was your favorite song from 2005?
the killers-smile like you mean it

25) What was your favorite record from 2005?
letlive- speak like you talk

26) How many concerts did you see in 2005?
AWW MAN WAYYY TOO MANY!

27) Did you have a favorite concert in 2005?
underoath @ House of blues

28) did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2005?
hahahahaha o0o yeah. ive recently been called a lush

29) did you do a lot of drugs in 2005?
nope. it aint my thang

30) How many people did you sleep with in 2005?
uhhh ummm i dont talk about that

31) Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
treat people shitty after id been treated shitty

33) What was the worst lie someone told you in 2005?
dont wanna talk about it

34) Did you treat somebody badly in 2005?
yeah. tyler

35) Did somebody treat you badly in 2005?
yeah, tyler

36) How much money did you spend in 2005?
uhh $300 a month. so alot

37) What was your proudest moment of 2005?
when i got the starting libero spot on varisty volleyball.

38) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2005?
cant remember. that because i probibly blocked it out of my mind

39) If you could go back in time to any moment of 2005 and change something, what would it be?
the way i delt with a situation and ended up hurting the one and only person ive ever loved

40) What are your plans for 2006?
have fun with my friends. not care what shitty people have to say or what they do. GO TO COLLEGE! <3
be in love<3 <3 <3

its 12:05 and im stting in the kitchen on the main computer and if you know me you know i have like 5 computers in my house ahh and not a one in my room. MAJOR bumout!. so basically ive really been missin a few people and i just wish i could somehow get to them. I miss dana. and even though we kinda had a falling out she was there for me and right when things started to get better she up and left me. :[ she had to go to stupid bording school, but now shes home and im so scared to pick up the phone and hear her voice on the other end. I miss Bri. I see her every day but shes different. or maybe im the one who different. shes getting into troulbe alot for stupid reasons and its pretty shitty. I miss vine SO MUCH! my best friend since kindergarden. my first kiss. my first friend. i love him more than life itself and he lives 4 hours away. :[ hes not here. when i need a sholder to cry on i cant just call him to come over and hold me. i only have his voice and even that means the world to me. i <3 him. I miss julie. i havent even known julie for very long but she gest me like noone else does. and when i need her here shes SO FAR AWAY! i wish i could just snap my fingers and be wherever she is. i cant wait to graduate and start my own life where i can do waht i wanna do and not worry so much what my parents think. :/...thank god frankie is transfering back to PEN. were going to have so much fun second semester. i just wish she was here right now.


Im done caring what you think.
im done caring what you hear.
im done wishing.
im done trying to change whats already done.
im done pretending.





im ready to start over <3 <3 <3

tonight im going to chukie cheese's for kylies birthday and o0o how i cant wait :)!!!